In all of my life, it never occurred to me that I was going to have any type of mental illness, I thought my life was going to be spontaneous and it was. I thought to be quiet was your choice, and being loud was for people that wanted attention. I thought that being dumb was because you didn’t use your brain by thinking, and being smart was from reading and being taught new knowledge from advanced people. I thought the feeling was a form of touch, as it is also feeling with emotions.
I thought that the friends you grew up with were going to be life long, and the family you had would never leave you. It is hard having PTSD you don’t want to be all alone but that’s how you feel and no sooner than that poof the family that you had are gone. Did you know that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder most people have an not even know it, and once they recognize it they see it in different people they know? Did you know that Parent’s have it and their children end up with having PTSD? Did you know that there’s no cure for NPD and no medicine to take for it but they have different kinds of medication for PTSD? My Parents have traits of NPD, and I was diagnosed with PTSD after a brutal Rape that happened when I was nineteen I’ve been through different trauma’s.
After giving birth to my three beautiful amazing children I was completely happy.
Chapter 21 ~ Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
In over a dozen years as a stress consultant, one of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have. It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled” is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met.
A friend of ours closed escrow on his new home on a Sunday. The very next time we saw him he was talking about his next house that was going to be even bigger! He isn’t alone. Most of us do the very same thing, We want this or that. If we don’t get what we want we keep thinking about all that we don’t have—and we remain dissatisfied. If we do get what we want, we simply re-create the same thinking in our new circumstances. So, despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy. Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires.
Luckily, there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Rather than wishing your spouse were different, try thinking about her wonderful qualities. Instead of complaining about your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather than wishing that you could take a vacation to Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilities is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the ” I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway. If you focus on the good qualities, she’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job, rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway. If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than waiting to enjoy yourself in Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilites is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap back off and start over. Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway. If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse, he’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway.
Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before. For perhaps the first time in your life, you’ll know what it means to be satisfied.
This can mean for a guy too!!