PTSD and Me

In all of my life, it never occurred to me that I was going to have any type of mental illness, I thought my life was going to be spontaneous and it was. I thought to be quiet was your choice, and being loud was for people that wanted attention. I thought that being dumb was because you didn’t use your brain by thinking, and being smart was from reading and being taught new knowledge from advanced people.  I thought the feeling was a form of touch, as it is also feeling with emotions. 

I thought that the friends you grew up with were going to be life long, and the family you had would never leave you.  It is hard having PTSD you don’t want to be all alone but that’s how you feel and no sooner than that poof the family that you had are gone.  Did you know that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder most people have an not even know it, and once they recognize it they see it in different people they know? Did you know that Parent’s have it and their children end up with having PTSD?  Did you know that there’s no cure for NPD and no medicine to take for it but they have different kinds of medication for PTSD? My Parents have traits of NPD, and I was diagnosed with PTSD after a brutal Rape that happened when I was nineteen I’ve been through different trauma’s.

After giving birth to my three beautiful amazing children I was completely happy. 

 

Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want

Chapter 21 ~ Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

In over a dozen years as a stress consultant, one of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have. It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have;  we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied.  The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled”  is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met. 

A friend of ours closed escrow on his new home on a Sunday. The very next time we saw him he was talking about his next house that was going to be even bigger! He isn’t alone.  Most of us do the very same thing, We want this or that.  If we don’t get what we want we keep thinking about all that we don’t have—and we remain dissatisfied.  If we do get what we want, we simply re-create the same thinking in our new circumstances.  So, despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy.  Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires. 

Luckily, there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Rather than wishing your spouse were different, try thinking about her wonderful qualities.  Instead of complaining about your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather than wishing that you could take a vacation to Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilities is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the ” I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over.  Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway. If you focus on the good qualities, she’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job, rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway. If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than waiting to enjoy yourself in Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilites is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap back off and start over.  Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want  anyway.  If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse, he’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway. 

Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before. For perhaps the first time in your life, you’ll know what it means to be satisfied.

Luke Combs – Must’ve Never Met You

This can mean for a guy too!!

Luke Combs – Beautiful Crazy

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Become a Less Aggressive Driver

 

Chapter 19 ~ Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Where do you get the most uptight? If you’re like most people, driving in traffic is probably high on your list.  To look at most major freeways these days,  you’d think you were on a racetrack instead of a roadway.

There are three excellent reasons for becoming a less aggressive driver.  First, when you are aggressive, you put yourself and everyone else around you in extreme danger.  Second, driving aggressively is extremely stressful.  Your blood pressure goes up, your grip on the wheel tightens, your eyes are strained, and your thoughts are spinning out of control.  Finally, you end up saving no time in getting to where you want to go. 

Recently I was driving south from Oakland to San Jose. Traffic was heavy, but moving. I noticed an extremely aggressive and angry driver weaving in and out of the lanes, speeding up slowing down.  Clearly, he was in a hurry. For the most part I remained in the same lane for the entire forty-mile journey.  I was listening to an audiotape I had just purchased and daydreaming along the way.  I enjoyed the trip a great deal because driving gives me a chance to be alone.  As I was exiting off the freeway, the aggressive driver came up behind me and raced on by.  Without realizing it, I had actually arrived in San Jose ahead of him.  All of his weaving, rapid acceleration, and putting families at risk had earned him nothing except perhaps  some high blood pressure, and a great deal of wear and tare on his vehicle. On average, he and I had driven at the same speed.

The same principal applies when you see drivers speeding past you so that they can beat you to the next stoplight. It simply doesn’t pay to speed. This is especially true if you get a ticket and have to spend eight hours in traffic school. It will take you years of dangerous speeding to make up this time alone. 

When you make the conscious decision to become a less aggressive driver, you begin using your time in the car to relax. Try to see your driving not only as a way of getting you somewhere,  but as a chance to breathe and to reflect.  Rather than tensing your muscles, see if you can relax them instead.  I even have a few audiotapes that are specifically geared toward muscular relaxation.  Sometimes I pop one in and listen.  By the time I reach my destination I feel more relaxed than I did before getting into the car.  During the course of your lifetime,  you’re probably going to spend a great deal of time driving.  You can spend those moments being frustrated, or you can use them wisely.  If you do the latter, you’ll be a more relaxed person. 

It’s Crunch Time!

I have been trying to get my daughter’s blanket done Crocheting 450 stitches in an hour is time consuming, and still after taking breaks periodically here and there I’ve been procrastinating.  IT’S CRUNCH TIME! I would like to get it done before her Birthday this year. We shall see.. I’ll be writing 2  articles a day maybe 3, and then the rest of that day I will be crocheting.