Posted in Frustration, Learning, Life, Tuesday

Emotionally and Mentally Drained


I’m not writing this post to complain, to shame anyone. I’m writing this post for people to be aware not only of a mental illness or disorder, but a little bit now of Dementia and I’m NOT an expert by no means. I am emotionally and mentally drained by people period and it has been taking a toll on me and my body phsyically.

It doesn’t matter the day of the week. It doesn’t matter what month it is. I have been a mess, a huge mess. With taking care of my parents every other day when my father was in the rehabilitation center getting stronger in order to go back home, I had to cut that down a lot of seeing them both. They will completely drain a person. I almost felt like I’ve been taking care of children at some point. Both of my parents have Alzheimer’s / Dementia, it is far from being an easy job. They aren’t as bad as some people think. The arguing, the game playing, the unsanitary house, the laziness, the constant excuses of not wanting to do anything, or go anywhere. The way my siblings and I grew up wasn’t the typical household. I am the runt of the litter and I mostly gotten treated the worst when you have a mentally ill mother. When it came to chores we did it, we went above and beyond with them and taking care of the pets also. I guess It wasn’t in the stars for me to grow up in a loving home, that’s exactly the opposite what they shown on the outside in public.

On a typical day of and before, I get several phone calls asking me if I can come over and pick up milk and a few more odds and ends for me and your Dad. I drive many miles to spend a day with them. I don’t mind the drive it is nice to see the scenery. When I arrive to my destination, at the fruit market I buy the items needed and usually drive to another place if they call before I get to their house. I unload my truck and walk in to find yet another day of nothing cleaned except for the dishes. Every pile of stuff imaginable throughout the house. I walk through the foyer an set items on a messy counter, take off my coat, kiss my Dad on the cheek or forehead, and proceed to sit down. I than hear the horrible sound of the bickering or sometimes the crying at the table or from another room in the house. No more than five minutes after walking in, I am usually trying to unwind from the people in the stores when all of the sudden I am bombarded in the face and lap with two great big German Shepherds. I pet them and stopping in mid petting I go to wipe my face and try not to sneeze from floating dog dander. I look at the carpet an the kitchen floor to find it everywhere.

Okay imagine one eighty year old woman whom had all her major joints replaced and one eighty year old man sitting in a wheelchair with his head down on a table, blind, and hard of hearing so badly that you have to practically yell or scream in order for him to hear you, when he doesn’t hear what you have said he’ll try and make sense of his own jumbled sentence we laugh and I loudly explain that wasn’t it and then again I tell him what it was cause he wanted to know. Ugh!! I’m sad at the condition of the house and my Father whom probably hasn’t had a warm shower in a week cause my mother either is too busy watching TV or complaining how she is continuously bouncing up and down from a recliner for him to be happy for a minute until he asks for something else within seconds.  Mother who is able to clean, wash clothes, help Father up the stairs to the shower, able to drive, manage the bills and the accounts, dress and shower herself, can hear and see refuses to take care of my dad who has did everything he could to make mother happy through the years of mother not working. She’s capable, just full of excuses and lazy. I love them both but when you’re the only child of theirs and mind you they have 5 children all together it gets exhausting really quick. In the meantime, I am juggling my own life with my own family, home, and still finding a job outside of them home with no skills and no degree but a crafty skill of making handmade items to sell. Business it slow in that area. I am still after 5 years crocheting a six foot by six foot blanket in one color (which is boring for me) and still have about 6 more skeins /rolls to go. SIGH!! 

As sitting there hearing the bickering back and forth or the silence from both of them and or the TV blaring from across the room. I am getting frustrated just sitting there. I ask mother: “Let’s tackle these papers, put away these things scattered all over the house.” I wait for an answer and get a rotten look and the answer changed abruptively to a question to father of: “Honey, Would you like me to make you a Sandwich?” . I think to myself, She just totally ignored my statement and moved onto something else. I mean she asked father that same question 3 times and was getting angry, like he was playing a game with her when I thought he didn’t hear her, I asked and that when I immediately seen red smoke come out of his ears, EEK! I exclaimed. “I better shut my mouth before I’m backhanded into the wall, just like when I was a young adult with my daughter in arms telling my oldest sister badly of what I thought of her.” Finally thinking the almighty saved me like many times before my phone rings and low and behold it’s my husband calling, I answer the phone: “Come and pick me up from work, please!” I excitedly put on my coat grab my things and kissed them both while mother expressed: “Why so soon?”, “You didn’t stay long.” I know I said that’s why I like coming on the weekends to see you. I drive to pick husband up and we go get a bite to eat and go home. He asked me about my day and I say: “I need a Vacation.”


Thank you for stopping by, Have a great day!

Posted in Depression, Frustration, Inspiration, Learning, Life, Thursday

Luke Combs – Must’ve Never Met You

This can mean for a guy too!!

Posted in Frustration, Learning, Wednesday

No Compassion

I was visiting my Dad the other day in the nursing home and the male nurse there looked frustrated with my Dad. My Dad is blind, hard of hearing, has a very long list of medical problems, he is a mouth breather, and now falls over when he walks with a walker. Come to find out he has a broken neck. Well that explains everything, all of his symptoms match. While everyone around is making fun of him and is embarrassed by his outbursts, I stood there and had tears come out of my eyes. No compassion none of them had. It was a sad sight to see. The staff go to school to get properly trained, work in a nursing home / rehab setting just to giggle and act frustrated. Where is your compassion? This is your Job! What you wanted to do as a line of work, a Career? I truly believe that these young people are there to receive a check and not care about our loved ones as they say.

There’s another place in my parent’s area that I’m going to call on, their reviews are absolutely horrible. The Nursing Home / Rehabilitation Center where my Father’s at is a wonderful place to be at. Besides the few people in his wing that work there. “A senior citizen club says older Australians isolated in their communities face greater loneliness if member numbers keep dwindling.”  “Independence is one of the most important things people want to retain, even in old age. In fact, one study revealed that as much as 90% of people aged 65 and up want to stay home for as long as they can.”  “Social isolation is one of the leading causes of depression in seniors. Loneliness can easily turn to feelings of worthlessness and despair. “
Taking care of elderly is a tough task but with little presence of mind and right decisions you can easily do this. This article includes tips to take care of elderly women.

As the talk of robots taking our jobs continues to be a hot topic, the media has created a buzz around robots eventually replacing humans as the elderly population’s caregivers.


Here’s an article I just found on the web:

REVEALED: Scandal of how 1,000 elderly ‘die of thirst in care homes’ Being left without water and becoming severely dehydrated was linked to 1,158 deaths of ­elderly and vulnerable patients between 2003 and 2012.
Dr. Alison Cook, from the ­Alzheimer’s Society, said: “How can we call ourselves civilized when people are left to starve or die of thirst? It is an utter disgrace that they are ever left without the most basic care.”
Some 318 care home residents died from starvation or when severely malnourished over the same period, and 2,815 deaths were related to bed sores.
The shock figures about the poor treatment of care home ­residents in England and Wales were released under Freedom of Information laws from the Office for National Statistics.
The real figures are expected to be far higher because residents who died while in hospital were not included.
Dot Gibson, General secretary of the National Pensioners ­Convention, called for an urgent overhaul in social care.
She said: “It is not good enough for ministers or the care regulator to talk about making improvements by 2015 when, in the ­meantime, older people are dying from neglect.
“The public would be outraged if animals were treated in the same way – we need to show the same compassion when it comes to ­caring for our elderly loved ones.”

Last year the Care Quality Commission issued 818 warning notices to adult social care services in England – around two thirds more than the preceding year.
Norman Lamb, the care and support minister, said the deaths from thirst and starvation were “entirely unacceptable”. The Competition and Markets Authority launched an investigation into the entire British social care home sector, after concerns were raised about unfair practices. ELDERLY residents forced out of doomed care homes and into hospitals because there is nowhere else for them to go will cost the NHS £3billion-a-year by 2020, a report warns. A RECORD number of Britons in care homes are suffering from dementia, far more than previously thought, according to a new report. Care homes are being viewed “as a last resort” for nursing students when no other placements can be found, according to managers, who say the setting should be valued more highly by educators.
Council’s decision to close elderly care home not unlawful – UK Human Rights Blog

Johnson & Johnson Pays for Misleading Elderly Patients
$2 Billion Penalty for Falsely Marketing Drugs and Putting Patients’ Health at Risk

Nursing home quality is ‘biggest concern’ in social care, say inspectors | News | Nursing
The quality of nursing homes remains the “biggest concern” for inspectors according to a new report on the state of adult social care services, which also stresses that the sector continues…

It is believed that the women, wearing their uniforms, napped for nearly three hours while they should have been looking after patients at Westroyd Care Home in Shepshed, Leics.