Posted in Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, Inspiration, Learning, Thursday

Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want

Chapter 21 ~ Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

In over a dozen years as a stress consultant, one of the most pervasive and destructive mental tendencies I’ve seen is that of focusing on what we want instead of what we have. It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have;  we just keep expanding our list of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied.  The mindset that says “I’ll be happy when this desire is fulfilled”  is the same mindset that will repeat itself once that desire is met. 

A friend of ours closed escrow on his new home on a Sunday. The very next time we saw him he was talking about his next house that was going to be even bigger! He isn’t alone.  Most of us do the very same thing, We want this or that.  If we don’t get what we want we keep thinking about all that we don’t have—and we remain dissatisfied.  If we do get what we want, we simply re-create the same thinking in our new circumstances.  So, despite getting what we want, we still remain unhappy.  Happiness can’t be found when we are yearning for new desires. 

Luckily, there is a way to be happy. It involves changing the emphasis of our thinking from what we want to what we have. Rather than wishing your spouse were different, try thinking about her wonderful qualities.  Instead of complaining about your salary, be grateful that you have a job. Rather than wishing that you could take a vacation to Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilities is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the ” I wish life were different” trap, back off and start over.  Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want anyway. If you focus on the good qualities, she’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job, rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway. If you focus on ways to enjoy yourself around home rather than waiting to enjoy yourself in Hawaii, think of how much fun you have had close to home. The list of possibilites is endless! Each time you notice yourself falling into the “I wish life were different” trap back off and start over.  Take a breath and remember all that you have to be grateful for. When you focus on not what you want, but on what you have, you end up getting more of what you want  anyway.  If you focus on the good qualities of your spouse, he’ll be more loving. If you are grateful for your job rather than complaining about it, you’ll do a better job, be more productive, and probably end up getting a raise anyway. 

Make a note to yourself to start thinking more about what you have than what you want. If you do, your life will start appearing much better than before. For perhaps the first time in your life, you’ll know what it means to be satisfied.

Advertisements

Author:

Hello I'm the Author of She Shares Stories. I have many niche's in life and unable to pick just one. I'm not just another writer, I'm work in progress!

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.